The mama tag…
I was tagged by the beautiful Charlotte to join in with the Mama tag! I have loved reading everyone else’s that have taken part so I thought why not?! So here goes…
How old were you when you had your first child?
I fell pregnant with Stanley when I was 23 and turned 24 before he was born.
What was the hardest thing about being pregnant for nine months?
I suffered really badly with morning sickness for around 17 weeks (I think, might have been a bit more or less it just blurs together!). I would wake up every morning and just wait to throw up (and FYI I have a bit of a phobia when it comes to being sick – it makes me cry, so dealing with that every morning before going to work was not the one!) And the nausea would last all day too, nightmare!
I also got massive really early. And don’t get me wrong, I LOVED my bump but it meant I had a really bad back and aches and pains throughout most of my pregnancy too.
Pregnancy is sold to you as this magical time and while it can be, it can also be really tough! I still look back and think I loved being pregnant but my god it wasn’t easy!!!
Can you think of any good things you enjoyed during those nine months?
My bump – for the majority of my pregnancy I loved my body. I think its the most confident I’ve ever felt in my own skin. Right up until the end at least when everything started swelling and I resembled a beached whale – yeah didn’t love my body quite so much then, ha!
My favourite thing was feeling those little kicks and wriggles. Sitting at work knowing I was the only one that could feel his little movements was amazing!
In your opinion, were all those things you heard about childbirth accurate or way off?
Way off! People seemed to love feeding me horror stories when I was pregnant, I couldn’t believe it! I don’t deal with pain great (although I had a water birth with gas and air so I think I’m officially allowed to say I deal with pain like a bad ass right?! Ha!)
But yeah, it seemed like a competition for people to have had the worst labour experience. Everyone banged on about how horrendous it was, and I can honestly say it was almost all bulls***t!!
Obviously it hurts – a little person is coming out of your body! But, it builds up – even mine which was a pretty fast labour and my contractions become intense very quickly and there wasn’t a gap long enough between them to fully recover from the last one. Even then your body works you up to the main event.
People should be honest about labour yes, but honestly don’t believe everything you hear from people. Remember everyone’s labour experience is totally different!!
Would you have handled child birth differently if you could re-do it?
The thing I would probably change is how little faith I had in myself!! I can’t even tell you how many times I cried and said I couldn’t do it. How much energy I wasted crying and feeling sorry for myself. Yes, it was fair enough – I was exhausted and in pain but if I’d have channelled that energy sooner it would have been over quicker. If I’d had believed in myself that I was handling it like a bloody boss and that I could do it, my midwife wouldn’t have had to threaten me with being taken out of the pool for me to focus and get that damn baby out, haha!
What would be your advice for someone about to have a baby?
Like I said for the last question – BELIEVE IN YOURSELF!!!!! You’re amazing, you and your body can do this and everything will be ok and SO worth it in the end! I’d say to just go with flow – have a rough idea of how you want your labour to go but be flexible. There’s no way to predict how things will happen on the day.
What has been the hardest thing about being a mum?
Mum guilt. For me this is the hardest. You feel guilty for absolutely everything you do, and sometimes nothing feels good enough. Being a mum is physically tiring but the mental load you take on when you become a mum is insane – I didn’t expect it and it is definitely one of the things I find the hardest on a daily basis! I’m feeling a whole new level of mum guilt now too, every day when I send him to nursery! It’s crazy how as a mum everything you do makes you question whether you should be doing something different or could do it better!
What has been the most rewarding thing about being a mum?
Seeing my boy grow up and learn new things! Watching him explore the world is just amazing, and he makes me so proud every single day!
What has been the most surprising thing you’ve discovered about being a mum?
Some days are a bit sh*t. You’re constantly told to “enjoy every second” because “they aren’t little for long”. But my god, some days it’s hard to enjoy every second. You don’t need to be thankful for every minute – it’s ok to think WTF is going on?! It’s ok to have a bad day and just want to go to bed and forget about it and see what tomorrow brings.
It’s taken me a long time to just accept that the bad days come and go. And it’s taken me even longer to realise that even these ‘perfect’ mums who seem to have everything under control and always have the best time with their little ones have sh*t days too – they’re just better at hiding them!
What is the best memory you have involving your child?
I don’t think I can pick one! There’s so many! Hearing him say mama for the first time is definitely up there though!
What was the most exciting milestone?
Probably walking! Watching him take his first wobbly little steps was just incredible. It was this massive shift in him going from being a baby to a toddler and it made me sad that he was growing and changing but so proud and so excited for all the adventures we’d have when he could walk. It was just amazing to think that he’d worked out how to do something so massive – something I take for granted every single day!
What is the worst thing your child has ever done?
I mean, he’s only 16 months old so he hasn’t disappeared all night, skipped school, brought a random girl home or been arrested so..! At the moment he’s just the normal grumpy toddler.
Although at the farm he did hit a cow in the face – that’s pretty bad (hilarious but bad, haha!)
What habit do you wish your child didn’t have?
Crying the second he wakes up, ahaha! It’s very rare that he’ll wake up just chatting away. He cheers up quick but I love the days when I hear chattering over the monitor and not crying!
Other than that nothing really – although he does have a bit of a habit of smacking me in the face which I’m not fond of, ha! He’s only 16 months though, so plenty of time for more annoying habits to develop, hahaha!
What habit of theirs makes you proud?
His manners. He is so good at saying please and thank you (well he says peas and ta, haha!). It makes me well up a bit every time because it just makes me so proud to be raising a proper little boy with good manners.
Do you share any similarities with your child (both physically and personality)?
Oh he definitely has my attitude and short temper for sure!!
Where would you like your child to be in 10 years?
To be happy, and nice to people and learning lots at school! I just want him to have friends and be happy!!
Is there something that having a child has taught you?
All sorts. Patience, understanding, the real meaning of unconditional love. But it’s also taught me that there’s whole new levels of tired and emotional and that being a mum doesn’t always come naturally – it’s bloody hard work!
Did you imagine you’d be a mum at the age you became a mum?
No. I’d always wanted to have children and I always wanted to be a young ish mum, but when I fell pregnant with Stanley it was unexpected and just after I’d finished my Masters degree and was looking into furthering my legal career. It definitely wasn’t when I expected to have a baby but now I cant imagine my life any other way!!
He’s just what I needed at that time obviously, and I honestly feel like the pieces are beginning to come together!! I am back working in the area I always wanted to work in and I’m so excited for mine and my little family’s future! I’m a massive believer that everything happens for a reason!
Describe your child in one sentence.
“As soon as I saw you, I knew an adventure was going to happen!”
~ Winnie the Pooh
…and that’s it! The mama tag! Go and give Charlotte’s a read here!