Monthly Updates, Parenting

12 things I learnt in my first 12 months as a mum…

Somehow, I have survived my first year of motherhood! It has been a whirlwind to say the least, and I have learnt so many things on the first chapter of my journey as a mum. In the first year of motherhood you definitely experience the good, the bad and the ugly and at times it can seem impossible. And yet, everyday you get it done and grow more and more.

So, what are the 12 biggest truths I’ve learnt the hard way in my first year as a mum?!

1. Time flies…
It sounds so cliche, but my god it’s true what they say – time really does fly! It seems like only yesterday that Stanley graced the world with his presence (and seems like forever ago at the same – I literally can’t remember what my life was like without him!). So much happens in a baby’s first year of life and there is constantly something else being learnt that the time just never seems to stop. So new mamas that might be reading this – although the days seem long, the months fly by. Soak up the newborn smell and cuddles because believe me they don’t last anywhere near as long as you want them to! But….

2. You wont enjoy every moment…
Another cliche that gets thrown at new mums: “enjoy every minute”. NO! I mean, sure, in theory it seems like a lovely thought and you think ‘of course I will enjoy every moment with my precious little bundle’. But honestly, you won’t enjoy every single moment, motherhood is damn hard and there are times where you want to (or actually do) just sit and cry your eyes out at just how draining being a mum can be. It gets you down sometimes and is exhausting, both physically and mentally. Don’t feel guilty for feeling this way – everyone has those days from time to time! But just as you feel like a failure or you feel like giving up, your little monstrous bundle of joy will smile and cuddle into you are just look into your eyes and you’ll realise you’re doing an amazing job and they are worth all the hard work – but that doesn’t mean the hard days aren’t hard!

3. It’s ok to ask for help…
In all honesty, this is one that I still haven’t cracked yet. I have got better at accepting help, but I will often say “I’m ok, don’t worry”, or “thanks but I can manage”, when really I should probably just say “yes!”. Not accepting help can be a hard habit to crack but remember – happy mum=happy baby! If you’re tired and a family member offers to watch the baby for you while you have a hot bath or a quick kip take them up on it! If you’re happy for someone to have baby for the day, then do it! Get out without a pushchair and treat yourself or grab yourself a coffee (you probably need it!) and don’t feel guilty about it! Which does lead to the next lesson I learnt…

4. Mum guilt is real
Painfully real some days. My mum had said to me for a long time that you’ll never know real guilt until you become a mum and then you feel guilty for everything. I never believed her, until I had Stanley. And then it hit me like a big guilt truck! You feel guilty for the craziest things: forgetting to check their nappy for the umpteenth time even though you know it’s fine, leaving them with family to get some extra sleep or a shower or to eat in peace (all crucial things to survive, but trust me the guilt still gets you!). It is ridiculous. I don’t know how to escape this one but it is definitely a lesson that I’ve learnt since becoming a mum – the guilt is never far away haha!

5. Everything is scary…
My baby is sniffing a lot, my baby isn’t sniffing enough, my baby sneezes all the time, is it bad that my baby has had hiccups everyday this week….? The questions are endless, especially in those first few months where everything is so new and you try and find your routine. You will most likely google some ridiculous things, but don’t! Google is your worst nightmare, trust me!! Just try not to panic and speak to people that will understand (your parents, any mum friends you have – they are the lifesavers in these situations!)

6. You will sniff your baby’s bum in public…
No really, haha! I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve either leant into the pushchair to see if i can smell anything dodgy, or actually lifted him up and had a sniff of his bum! It’s second nature now. Better to check quickly than have to deal with a poonami and a super grumpy baby half an hour later (or on the bus!!! Trust me this is NOT a situation you want to deal with haha!)

7. You will become a mamarazzi…
Yes, I was that person pre-pregnancy/baby that said, “I don’t want to be that person that slaps their kids face all over the place and constantly talks about their baby!” Pffffft!! One year on and I’ve never used my Instagram so much in my life and I’ve started a blog all about my life as a mummy! My old self would probably die of shock haha! But I can’t help it, I take photos of everything he does, I’m obsessed with him. I never stray far from my phone in case he does something I want to capture. I hate the thought of ever forgetting any stage he went through – I had to pay for more ICloud storage to deal with my over obsessive snapping!

8. You become a bit immune to gross things…
Such as the bum sniffing hahaha!! I have done so many things I would have been ‘grossed out’ by a year ago! Picking their noses, inspecting poo because you think you see something red and panic that it’s blood (and it turns out to be pepper or tomato or something, grim! Haha!) You name it and I’ve probably done it in the first year of being a mum!

9. You will compare your baby to others…
You know you shouldn’t and that all babies are different, but you can’t help but compare when you’re at baby group or around friends with babies (especially if they’re a similar age). I think it’s human nature to do this, but try to do it with a pinch of salt. Don’t compare too deeply or let yourself become bogged down with what other babies of a similar age are doing/not doing. Every baby is different and they will all hit their milestones eventually. So if your baby isn’t crawling and all the others at baby group are, so what – you enjoy not having to chase a little human around a room for an hour, while the other mums’ coffee is going cold and they’re sweating by the end of the group. Enjoy the stage that your baby is at instead of comparing, because these stages honestly don’t last very long!

10. You find out who your real friends are…
This one starts in pregnancy to be honest. I was and still am shocked at the friendships I lost even early on in my pregnancy and even more so after Stanley was born. I think some people just decide they don’t want to be in your life, some just fizzle out due to not having so much time and some are lost due to a lack of understanding about how your priorities change when you become a mum. Sometimes it gets me down, but I think the people that you need in your life will always be there for you, no matter what the circumstances are! Your people will be there for you through good times and bad!! Find your people and you’re set. I’m lucky to still have some people in my life from before I became pregnant, we might not get to see each other much but they’re available for a chat when I need to get things off my chest. And I’m even luckier that I found 2 amazing ladies at a baby group when Stanley was just 8 weeks old. It seems like fate that we became friends as one of their little boys was born on the same day, in the same hospital as Stanley, and the other little man was born just 3 days later. They have been my rock through this bumpy first year and it has been incredible to see our 3 boys growing together, but also us 3 mummies growing and learning together too. I know I have friends for life in them!

11. You will make mistakes…
You’re only human, and when you’re trying to function on little to no sleep you’re bound to make mistakes. Don’t let that mum guilt get you down. It’s easier said than done and I am terrible at being too hard on myself for the mistakes I make as a mum. They’re not detrimental and I know that mistakes don’t matter as long as Stanley is loved but in the moment you just feel a bit rubbish. I didn’t tell many people about one mistake I made when Stanley was quite small, but I’m going to share it now, just in case a new mummy is reading this and it helps make them realise they’d not alone! I was cutting Stanley’s nails with some baby clippers, and he fidgeted and I caught the tip of his finger and broke the skin and it drew some blood. I was distraught and couldn’t stop crying. I had to give Stanley to his Daddy and literally locked myself in the bathroom because I felt so terrible. Well…it definitely hurt me more than it hurt Stanley. He cried a little but soon got over it and he is never going to remember that. It was an accident, I was tired and had never cut a baby’s fingernails in my life – but did I tell myself that? Nope, I berated myself and let myself feel terrible for so so long. The best advice I could give (that I know I should listen to as well) is before you give yourself a hard time, think what you would say to a friend if they told you they’d done that. You wouldn’t get angry at them and tell them they were terrible would you? No. You’d say it’s ok, it’s nothing major and not to worry and get upset. You’d comfort them. So, when you make mistakes (and you will, no-one is perfect, some people are just better at hiding their mistakes) go easy on yourself! You’re doing the best you can!

12. You will fall in love with your little person more and more every day…
Seriously! When a tiny, wrinkled, crying newborn Stanley was placed into my arms I didn’t think I could love him anymore than I did in that exact moment. But every day that has passed since he arrived I have fallen more in love with him. As they develop their cheeky little personality and interact with you more, you feel so much more connected and that love just doesn’t seem to stop growing. It’s the most amazing feeling, and Stanley is now at an age where he seeks me out and comes and gives me a cuddle or a kiss and it honestly is the best feeling in the world!

So, if you are about to embark on the journey of being a mummy, let me know which bit of motherhood worries you the most (and I’d love to know how you’re finding pregnancy, I miss it lots!). And if you’re years into your motherhood journey, do you agree? What lessons have you learnt along the way?

Georgia
xo

0 Comments

  1. amyjanebaby

    I absolutely loved this post! I wrote a very similar one a week or so ago about the lessons I have learnt!

    Amy | Amy Jane & Baby

    X

    1. I still can’t believe a whole year had gone by already! X

  2. Great post!! The mum guilt is terrible, you really do feel so guilty for the stupidest things! And yep, just when you think you cannot possibly love them anymore, somehow it happens! Being a parent is really amazing x

    1. Thankyou! It really is literally the craziest, most amazing journey! X

  3. Aww this was such a sweet post to read! Being a mum is a wonderful journey but it certainly isn’t always sunshine and rainbows it is?!

    Jemma x

  4. ohlunablog

    Honestly the things you do as a mum that you wouldn’t dream of, or would dread to do before being one is unreal! As I was reading your post, I was being stared at while Imogen was squatting out her poop. It’s like moral support isn’t it?!

    Lisa | http://www.ohluna.co.uk

    1. Hahahaha that’s brilliant! ? the glamour of mum life?!! ??‍♀️? x

  5. Love this post! All so true! Lol at the bum sniffing and I never thought I’d get so much enjoyment at picking a crusty bogey out of a kids nose!! Yuck but true. Mumlife ✌?xxx

    1. Ahh thankyou! Totally agree about the nose picking, I love that too! ? But Stanley freaks out whenever I go near his nose ???‍♀️ xx

  6. I love this post! You couldn’t be more right! Xx

  7. Babe this post was amazing and so heart warming !! I’m due in 6 weeks with my first baby and I am honestly so excited ! I know it’s going to be a scary time and I will probably spend half my time worrying about every single thing – but I’m also so excited to have a tiny little angel to look after !!
    Saira
    http://www.sairasays.co.uk xxxx

    1. Ahhhh thankyou!! That’s a lovely thing to say! It is scary but honestly it’s so amazing! The hard times just make you stronger, you have so much to look forward to. Congratulations and good luck for your little ones arrival ? xx

  8. […] so many things! I previously wrote a blog post covering some of those lessons which you can find here! I’m now excited to see what the next year of Stanley has is in store and the adventures we […]

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